I was sitting on the porch this morning drinking my coffee and enjoying the fresh new day. I was watching the sky lighten as the sun was rising and my mind couldn’t help but express appreciative thoughts about my life, the wonders of nature, the expansiveness of my world.
I was feeling absolutely delirious with joy and I caught myself saying, “Thank You for Your love.” I barely got that thought complete and my Inner Being said, “Wait a minute! I AM love. I AM Source. I am all-that-is, too!”
I was a little shocked my Inner Being was so adamant about BEing love. I thought I was offering a beautiful appreciation to what I felt.
The more I thought about my previous statement of thanking Source for loving me, what came to mind was, that statement had behind it the feeling of being grateful for love as if I was unworthy or undeserving. There was just a twinge of being grateful for something as if I believed I was somehow not worthy of being the receiver.
Then it struck me why that subtle feeling of unworthiness or undeserving would be an underlying belief–it was how I was raised in the Christian church! I was raised to believe the words of the Bible as God’s only word. It was the instruction manual for how God felt about us, our spiritual plight and what our job was to gain redemption from being an unworthy, undeserving worm. It was ingrained in me that all humanity was broken and unworthy.
I have not been in the church for many years, now, and do not believe that any book is God’s only word. I do believe all spiritual ancient texts, and even many current books, contain great spiritual and life principles that would be of great benefit. Most texts tend to control by fear of eternal separation from God, which I believe can never happen. Anyway, I thought I had replaced most of those erroneous beliefs with beliefs that actually resonate with my Inner Being.
But, this one must have been hidden deeply or it was finally time for my Inner Being to reveal the last little bit of this lingering resistant, destructive belief. Maybe I was finally ready to deal with my subtle feelings of unworthiness.
At any rate, I was so excited for this a-ha moment–I AM LOVE! I AM SOURCE. I AM AN EXTENSION OF THE GOD SOURCE. I am part and parcel with Source Energy. I came from Source and will return to Source. The larger part of who I really am is always one with Source!
I’m not saying it’s not a good thing to appreciate love. Love is all-there-is! It is the reason we live and thrive. Of course, we should be appreciative, because to me the spirit of appreciation IS love.
My point is that I was saying it with the underlying belief that I was somehow amazed that I was having love extended to ME! As if Source was up-there and I was down-here. As if Source and who-I-really-am are separate BEings. As if Source and I were not on the same level, but we ARE! We are ONE! We are all extensions of Source Energy. We are Source Energy focused upon this physical life for this moment in time/space reality. When we’re done here on this earth and we decide to withdraw our focus from the physical we still remain non-physical Source Energy. We simply transition out of the smaller, physical focus and re-emerge fully into our larger, wiser, older non-physical being.
Now I will appreciate love even more, because I realize I Am Love! Love surrounds all of us and it is up to us to allow It’s flow to us and through us. I love knowing that I am surrounded by Love and that my larger, wiser, older Inner Being IS Love. I want to relax and allow it into my life. I’m ready to release the resistance to love because of being told I was unworthy and it was only by grace that God was even willing to bestow love towards me–and of course, it was only after I should grovel and plead to be forgiven.
I’m not broken. None of us are. I’m not in need of salvation or fixing. I am pure, positive Source Energy! I am one with Source. I know I have lived most of my life in resistance to this knowledge, but I’m finally coming around! My seeking and learning is paying off. My path is becoming more and more clear to me. Clarity of my purpose on this earth is unfolding daily. I am remembering who I really am!
We all carry around limiting, destructive beliefs that are not in harmony with our Inner Being of Source Energy. That’s why we feel bad. When we experience negative emotion that is simply the feeling we have been given through our Emotional Guidance System to indicate to us when we are thinking thoughts that are contrary to the way our pure, positive Inner Being of Source Energy is thinking! When we experience positive emotions, we are aligned with the thoughts of Source Energy–who we really are.
I Am Love and so are YOU!!
All is well! Really!
Mary Ann Pack, YOUR Life & Wellness Coach
PS: If you have experienced an a-ha moment similar to this, I would love for you to tell us about it in the comments below. If this blog has touched your heart, please feel free to share it with others. Thanks in advance!