Remember the 99 and Set Boundaries

“You can do 99 things for some people and all they will remember is the one thing you didn’t do.” ~PowerOfPositivity

People. Pleasing. Does. Not. Work!

It is not sustainable. People-pleasing was never meant to be a sustainable relationship. It will wear you out and make you resentful and very unhappy. And, in the end, it will never really please the other person in the way they want to be pleased.

We are all here, physically, to experience a great relationship with Ourselves, Non-physically (spiritually, eternally). When that relationship is not at its best, we look outside ourselves to shore up the feeling of the alignment we are seeking within Ourselves. But, that outside-seeking is never going to satisfy our need for alignment within, so it will never please us and make us happy enough to live a joy-filled life. We will always feel dependent upon others to do the job we intended to perform to gain our personal alignment with who we really are.

Please stop trying to  please others at the risk of emotional, mental and physical exhaustion on your part! It is futile.

None of us came to this physical life with the purpose to please others and make sure they were happy. We came to this life with the purpose of living joyful, creative lives. Never dependent on anyone else for our happiness or our alignment.

That means…each of us! That doesn’t mean some of us came to be pleased and some of us came to be pleasers! We each came here knowing that it was solely our job to be happy–without anyone else’s help–or demanding anything from anyone. No control. No demands.

How do I know this?

I know this because of how it makes me feel when I succumb to people-pleasing tactics. I feel like sh*t! When I get stuck doing something for someone that I never wanted to do in the first place, but did it anyway out of responsibility or obligation. You know the feeling–you start to get tense, maybe your stomach churns or get a lump in your throat. You start to resent having to do something, again, for this one who always seems to be so good at needing emergency help, or in-a-bind-favors. Over and over again. It gets very exhausting!

Besides your mental and emotional stress, all that tension and resentment is taking a toll on your physical body. Your body is very sensitive to the vibrational frequencies you are emitting through your thoughts and emotions. If your emotions are out of whack–imagine what your poor body is going through??? Pretty soon, you’ll have a reason not to extend any more favors, because your body will create an illness, pain or disease that will prevent you anyway.

I’m NOT saying you can never do something for someone else. Not at all! If you can do something for another person and you can stay aligned and happy in the doing of it–then by all means–follow your heart!! It can be an amazing delight to be a help to another person!

I’m talking about the repetitive cries for help that never seem to end. Sometimes they tend to get bigger and more time-consuming. You’d like to tell them to get their sh*t together and get a life. They are not the center of your world–you are!

If we feel taken advantage of, it time we must learn to set boundaries. Takers tend to step and stomp all over their helper’s lives. Taking no notice of the inconvenience and expense they may cause another. So, setting boundary lines is the only way to stop the abuse.

Setting boundaries is our opportunity to think different thoughts. Obviously, we have attracted the time and energy vampires by our previous vibrational thought patterns and beliefs. We invited people to demand our time and energy by thinking thoughts of our not enough-ness. Beliefs that we must serve others before our own needs and desires. That being selfish with my time and resources is wrong. That it is better to give than receive! Thinking, if I can just change my behavior enough to please him/her, then I will be appreciated and accepted. Bullpucky!!

You can’t keep serving from an empty pitcher. Self-care is necessary and life-sustaining. Time and resources are solely ours to keep or share at our bidding. Giving and receiving are two sides of the exact same coin–they are equal! We can never change our behavior enough to please anyone for any length of time–because they are always changing what they want us to be, according to their whim of the day.

When someone is truly in need and we can feel good while we are performing the favor, then by all means, do it! Delight in serving another. But, never, ever perform a favor for someone if you are doing it out of dread, fear, obligation, guilt, resentment–you get the picture. This attitude will not truly help them or yourself. Only perform favors when you are happy and truly glad to help out. Our alignment with who we really are is the guiding inspiration regarding any action to be performed. If it feels good–do it!

On the other side of this, we may need to question if we are the person who is not appreciating the favors of time and energy someone have given us. Are we the one who constantly demands favors from others? Are we the one who is not appreciating the 99 things people do for us and only remembering that one thing they didn’t do? Are we holding a grudge for that one little thing left undone?

If we are a time and energy vampire, it’s time to focus upon our own alignment with our inner being and let go of the need to control others’ behavior to make us feel better. Feeling better is truly what we are looking for–which only comes through our alignment with our Inner Source. Maybe it’s time to take up our own job of alignment with our inner being and begin thinking in new ways that help us feel better and better. Maybe it’s time to change some beliefs–that others owe us, that we are the center of everyone’s universe, that we are the victim and we can’t help that everyone’s out to get us, that we simply cannot help ourselves.

Look for things to appreciate. If someone is doing something for us, tell them how much we appreciate all their help. Make lists of things we appreciate about our life and the part others play in our experience. Look for positive aspects of all that comes our way.

The more we make the effort to live a life of appreciation, the more the universe feels this new shift in vibration and will bring us more things to appreciate! Remember and make a list of all the 99 things done for us. As we focus appreciation for the 99 things, we’ll not even remember the one that didn’t get done. It won’t even matter!

All is Well!!

MAP 12-2015 rev

~ Mary Ann Pack

YOUR Life & Wellness Coach

 

 

 

Stress Relief 101

“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” ~William James

We tend to think of stress as coming from outside sources. You may recognize some of the following statements about stress.

This situation with him stresses me out!

I’m going through a stressful week at work.

I’m so stressed out over finances.

Driving in traffic stresses me to rage!

You get the idea.

Pure and simple, stress is resistance–resistance against something we don’t like or something we may not want to do, but feel obligated or responsible to fulfill. Resistance against someone who we don’t agree with or don’t like to be around. Stress doesn’t feel good.

In this universe governed by the Law of Attraction where–that which is like unto itself, is drawn–like simply attracts like. When laws are involved, there is no other option. The Law states that like attracts like. The universe is playing a matching game where the rule demands when a vibration is given off, it must, by law, find something that essentially matches the same vibration.

We know that everything is energy–thank you, Albert–and as such, our every thought is energy. We, also, know that energy is in constant motion and gives off vibrations. So, our thoughts are constantly giving off vibrations of different frequencies.

If the universe, by law, is matching each vibration of thought, and if we are thinking we are under stress, doesn’t it stand to reason we have attracted whatever stressors we believe we are suffering, by our own thoughts??

So, if we have attracted the stress by our thoughts, can’t we simply change our thoughts to a different vibrational frequency to gain some relief? I’m so glad you asked! Yes, we can!!

Because we attracted stress by our thoughts, we absolutely can change our thoughts to change our attraction to stressors. We have the power within our thoughts to attract a calm and peaceable life! Ease and flow can be the dominant experience with the right kind of thoughts–thoughts that actually feel good.

Stress is a resistance to something or someone unwanted. Resistant thoughts activate more thoughts of resistance, which attract more resistance. We are now completely stressed out!!

Instead, why not look for positive aspects in an unwanted situation? Remember the saying about everything having a silver lining? Find something, some aspect, to appreciate as you are facing something unwanted, rather than being in resistance. Every time we look for something to appreciate, we are activating our vibrational attraction of more to appreciate!

Every situation is either fulfilling a desire or clarifying a desire. In other words, when we are experiencing something we attracted–because we attract everything that comes to us–it is either fulfilling one of our desires or it is giving us time to clarify the details of a desired improvement.

While we are facing some situation that we see could turn into a stress for us, why not take the opportunity to change our thoughts and find something to appreciate. Even if it’s simply to appreciate the opportunity to decide more clearly what we really do want.

Appreciate that this person has given you the opportunity to clarify an improved vision of your relationships. Appreciate the fact that you have work and want to be successful. Appreciate a characteristic or quality that the person exemplifies–even if it’s that they have nice hair! Appreciate that you have a vehicle and feel yourself gliding on a magic carpet of ease and flow through traffic.

And maybe, just maybe, you may have to say, NO. No, I will not help with this project. No, I will not help you move this weekend. No, son/daughter we are not joining another athletic team that takes away from our family time. No, to the busyness. No, to the hurrying. Just say NO!

We are not here to please others. We are not here to make sure everyone else is happy at the expense of our sanity and well-being. We must stop being people-pleasers! We can never do enough for others to please them all the time. And, there are just too many moving parts to please or control! Resisting our well-being by trying to please everyone else is attracting way to much stress. The more people-pleasing you perform, the more reasons you’ll attract unnecessary stress.

But, we have the power to say no to others, and yes to ourselves, our peace of mind and well-being. Yes to our freedom of choice! Yes to new thought patterns that bring relief.

Yes, this change of attitude and thought patterns take time and practice, but the effort is so worth…YOU!

All is Well!

MAP 12-2015 rev

~ Mary Ann Pack

YOUR Life & Wellness Coach

 

Should I Doubt My Beliefs?

“It is ok to doubt what you have been taught to believe.” ~Divine Feminine Reawakening

Think back over what you have been taught to believe. It doesn’t necessarily mean religious dogma only–it includes all aspects of your belief system. It could be attitudes and beliefs about money, power, sexism, racism, relationships, careers, love–anything really.

When you think about a subject and what you were taught about it, notice how it makes you feel. Do you get a tightening in your throat or stomach? Do you feel your neck, arms or legs tense? Does it not resonate within you?

If so, you may need to doubt that what you’ve been taught to believe is for your highest good. You may need to examine why you were taught that belief.

Was it out of fear?

Was it out of the feeling of lack?

Was it out of someone’s need to control your life?

Was it out of guilt and shame?

We are not here to control others. We didn’t come here to find the only right path for everyone to follow, and when they don’t, we punish them or coerce them with shame. Fortunately, we each have our very own built-in emotional guidance system that will lead us on our personal path–if we will learn to feel our way. We are here to experience a life full of joy and love. Now, THAT feels good!

Maybe it’s time to reconsider things that you were taught. Maybe it’s time to change some of your beliefs to ones that actually resonate with your soul. When you believe something that makes you feel really good–really alive and vibrant–you are on the right track for YOU! Other’s opinions and beliefs have absolutely nothing to do with you and who you really are!

As long as your beliefs make YOU feel good, with a peaceful mind and heart, they are for your highest good. Never, ever, feel guilty or ashamed to question your beliefs! Appreciate yourself when you search for beliefs that feel good and resonate with your Inner Being!!

Only you can live your life with joy and peace. No one and nothing else will matter in the end. The only thing that matters is that you feel good about you and what you believe!

All is Well!

MAP 12-2015 rev

~ Mary Ann Pack

YOUR Life & Wellness Coach

Love Stories with Happy Endings!

“If you’re going to make up stories in your head about people and circumstances, please make them love stories with happy endings.” ~Cheryl Richardson

When you find yourself mulling over people and circumstances, notice how you are feeling. Do you feel light-hearted and happy? Do you feel tense and angry? How you feel is an indication of the vibration of your thoughts. Your emotions are your guide to alignment or misalignment. You can trust your emotions!!

So many people want to tell you, you cannot trust your emotions, but you certainly can. Your emotions–no matter the label–are a direct reflection of your thoughts. Thoughts create your emotional state. If you want a different emotional state or a different ending–think a better-feeling thought! Tell a better-feeling story. Simple as that!

So, when you make up those stories, look for all the positive aspects you can muster. Look for every detail that you can appreciate–and throw that aspect into the story!

Tell the new story with love and happy endings and eventually it will become who you are, and the Law of Attraction will match your vibrational pull.

It’s really your choice as to your story’s ending. Choose a really happy one!!
All is Well!
MAP 12-2015 rev
YOUR Life & Wellness Coach

 

Our Morning Choice

“A good morning is dependent upon choosing positive thoughts.” ~Mary Ann Pack

If you would like to have a good morning, do you plan for it the night before?

Do you know your day starts the night before?

When you climb into bed, what has been your dominant feeling as you fall asleep? Have you been ranting about something that happened during the day? Complaining about someone who wronged you? Or, worrying and fretting about what-ifs?

In what vibrational energy are you falling asleep?

Your pre-sleeping vibration has momentum. Yes, your vibration stops during sleep, but unless you consciously choose to find positive thoughts the next morning, as soon as you awake, you will probably start your morning thinking about what you were thinking  the night before. If you tend to think negative thoughts, you will probably pick up in the morning where you left off with a negative thought pattern from the night before.

If, on the other hand, you focus your thoughts upon gratitude and appreciation in preparation for sleep to ensure you are at a high vibrational level, your probability of beginning your morning with positive thoughts is very good!

Whichever thought patterns you have practiced the most, will probably be what you think about as you review your day before falling asleep, and it will continue the next morning–unless you make a concerted effort to re-pattern your thoughts that feel better.

Sleep offers us the perfect opportunity to reset our vibration.

Take a moment as you awake to revel in the delicious feeling of your bed–the warm blankets, the lush pillow, the snuggly feeling of your room. Delight for a few moments, that you are alive and breathing. Appreciate your body for renewing during your rest. Appreciate your body for performing all the necessary functions to keep you alive, breathing and heart beating–without your supervision. These thoughts will help you find other thoughts of appreciation as you arise and move through your day.

When you first begin this process, you may only stay positive for a few moments before something distracts you into the negative. But, the more you practice this positive choice of thoughts, you will notice you stay aligned with the positive longer throughout the day.

Begin your good morning tomorrow–tonight!

Get a jump on your good morning. Make it a point to review positive aspects about your day or things you appreciate just before you fall asleep tonight. Not only will you begin to rest better, you will wake up more often with appreciation on your mind.

Make your good morning choice a positive one!

If you enjoyed this blog post, please comment, share and like. Thanks in advance!

All is Well!!

Mary Ann Pack

YOUR Life & Wellness Coach

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your Relationship with YOU!

“You will be with you longer than anyone else on the planet. Why not make it a great relationship. ~Louise Hay
The kind of relationship you have with YOU is the most important relationship you will ever have and will be reflected in all your other relationships. If you are critical, judgmental, disgusted, angry, fearful, frustrated at yourself, you will spread those attitudes to others–because that’s what you know and have experienced. You can only share what you’ve already experienced in yourself with Yourself.

If, on the other hand, you love you, you appreciate you, you care for, praise and enjoy YOU–these attitudes and beliefs are what you will share in your other relationships.

When I speak of relationships, I don’t just mean close friends or family. I’m also including folks we relate to in the news, in government, locally, and around the globe. If you focus hatred for someone doing something you’ve deemed as bad in the world, you can only notice it because a bit of that hatred is in your relationship with YOU!

If you notice you have bad feelings toward Yourself, you will spread it globally.

The only way to see a positive change in your world, is to repair your relationship with YOU. Looking for positive aspects of Yourself will also allow you to see positive aspects of those you don’t like. Look for the good in You, so you can see the good in others!

Every single person has some positive aspects that you can find, but you’ll never see it if all you’re looking for is bitter hatred and anger. Remember, we are all, either giving love or asking for love. Some folks are just really bad at asking for love–and may be looking for love in all the wrong places–outside themselves!

How are You giving love? How well do You ask for love? If you’re not even giving it to Yourself, how can you expect to give it to others? How is your relationship with YOU?

All we need it love–giving, receiving and asking for Love!

 

Do What’s Best for You

“And now I’ll do what’s best for me.” ~Unknown
Do you realize it’s really okay for you to do what’s best for you?
As a matter of fact, it’s not only the best thing you can do for yourself–it’s the best thing you can do for the entire world!

If we are not doing things that are for our highest good and best for ourselves, we cannot offer that empowerment to others to find what’s best for themselves.

You will absolutely know what’s best for you by how you feel.

When you are feeling good with your thoughts and actions, you are thinking and doing things that are best for you. Feeling good is your place of true alignment with who you really are–alignment with your Source within.
When you do what’s best for you and it gives you peace of mind, you hold the vibrational space for others to find the same vibrational peace and alignment in their lives. Remember, we really are One. What we do for ourselves, affects what others can do for themselves.

Go ahead! Do what’s best for you with unconditional love towards yourself–and it will spill over into the world around you!

~Mary Ann Pack