Remember the 99 and Set Boundaries

“You can do 99 things for some people and all they will remember is the one thing you didn’t do.” ~PowerOfPositivity

People. Pleasing. Does. Not. Work!

It is not sustainable. People-pleasing was never meant to be a sustainable relationship. It will wear you out and make you resentful and very unhappy. And, in the end, it will never really please the other person in the way they want to be pleased.

We are all here, physically, to experience a great relationship with Ourselves, Non-physically (spiritually, eternally). When that relationship is not at its best, we look outside ourselves to shore up the feeling of the alignment we are seeking within Ourselves. But, that outside-seeking is never going to satisfy our need for alignment within, so it will never please us and make us happy enough to live a joy-filled life. We will always feel dependent upon others to do the job we intended to perform to gain our personal alignment with who we really are.

Please stop trying to  please others at the risk of emotional, mental and physical exhaustion on your part! It is futile.

None of us came to this physical life with the purpose to please others and make sure they were happy. We came to this life with the purpose of living joyful, creative lives. Never dependent on anyone else for our happiness or our alignment.

That means…each of us! That doesn’t mean some of us came to be pleased and some of us came to be pleasers! We each came here knowing that it was solely our job to be happy–without anyone else’s help–or demanding anything from anyone. No control. No demands.

How do I know this?

I know this because of how it makes me feel when I succumb to people-pleasing tactics. I feel like sh*t! When I get stuck doing something for someone that I never wanted to do in the first place, but did it anyway out of responsibility or obligation. You know the feeling–you start to get tense, maybe your stomach churns or get a lump in your throat. You start to resent having to do something, again, for this one who always seems to be so good at needing emergency help, or in-a-bind-favors. Over and over again. It gets very exhausting!

Besides your mental and emotional stress, all that tension and resentment is taking a toll on your physical body. Your body is very sensitive to the vibrational frequencies you are emitting through your thoughts and emotions. If your emotions are out of whack–imagine what your poor body is going through??? Pretty soon, you’ll have a reason not to extend any more favors, because your body will create an illness, pain or disease that will prevent you anyway.

I’m NOT saying you can never do something for someone else. Not at all! If you can do something for another person and you can stay aligned and happy in the doing of it–then by all means–follow your heart!! It can be an amazing delight to be a help to another person!

I’m talking about the repetitive cries for help that never seem to end. Sometimes they tend to get bigger and more time-consuming. You’d like to tell them to get their sh*t together and get a life. They are not the center of your world–you are!

If we feel taken advantage of, it time we must learn to set boundaries. Takers tend to step and stomp all over their helper’s lives. Taking no notice of the inconvenience and expense they may cause another. So, setting boundary lines is the only way to stop the abuse.

Setting boundaries is our opportunity to think different thoughts. Obviously, we have attracted the time and energy vampires by our previous vibrational thought patterns and beliefs. We invited people to demand our time and energy by thinking thoughts of our not enough-ness. Beliefs that we must serve others before our own needs and desires. That being selfish with my time and resources is wrong. That it is better to give than receive! Thinking, if I can just change my behavior enough to please him/her, then I will be appreciated and accepted. Bullpucky!!

You can’t keep serving from an empty pitcher. Self-care is necessary and life-sustaining. Time and resources are solely ours to keep or share at our bidding. Giving and receiving are two sides of the exact same coin–they are equal! We can never change our behavior enough to please anyone for any length of time–because they are always changing what they want us to be, according to their whim of the day.

When someone is truly in need and we can feel good while we are performing the favor, then by all means, do it! Delight in serving another. But, never, ever perform a favor for someone if you are doing it out of dread, fear, obligation, guilt, resentment–you get the picture. This attitude will not truly help them or yourself. Only perform favors when you are happy and truly glad to help out. Our alignment with who we really are is the guiding inspiration regarding any action to be performed. If it feels good–do it!

On the other side of this, we may need to question if we are the person who is not appreciating the favors of time and energy someone have given us. Are we the one who constantly demands favors from others? Are we the one who is not appreciating the 99 things people do for us and only remembering that one thing they didn’t do? Are we holding a grudge for that one little thing left undone?

If we are a time and energy vampire, it’s time to focus upon our own alignment with our inner being and let go of the need to control others’ behavior to make us feel better. Feeling better is truly what we are looking for–which only comes through our alignment with our Inner Source. Maybe it’s time to take up our own job of alignment with our inner being and begin thinking in new ways that help us feel better and better. Maybe it’s time to change some beliefs–that others owe us, that we are the center of everyone’s universe, that we are the victim and we can’t help that everyone’s out to get us, that we simply cannot help ourselves.

Look for things to appreciate. If someone is doing something for us, tell them how much we appreciate all their help. Make lists of things we appreciate about our life and the part others play in our experience. Look for positive aspects of all that comes our way.

The more we make the effort to live a life of appreciation, the more the universe feels this new shift in vibration and will bring us more things to appreciate! Remember and make a list of all the 99 things done for us. As we focus appreciation for the 99 things, we’ll not even remember the one that didn’t get done. It won’t even matter!

All is Well!!

MAP 12-2015 rev

~ Mary Ann Pack

YOUR Life & Wellness Coach

 

 

 

Do What’s Best for You

“And now I’ll do what’s best for me.” ~Unknown
Do you realize it’s really okay for you to do what’s best for you?
As a matter of fact, it’s not only the best thing you can do for yourself–it’s the best thing you can do for the entire world!

If we are not doing things that are for our highest good and best for ourselves, we cannot offer that empowerment to others to find what’s best for themselves.

You will absolutely know what’s best for you by how you feel.

When you are feeling good with your thoughts and actions, you are thinking and doing things that are best for you. Feeling good is your place of true alignment with who you really are–alignment with your Source within.
When you do what’s best for you and it gives you peace of mind, you hold the vibrational space for others to find the same vibrational peace and alignment in their lives. Remember, we really are One. What we do for ourselves, affects what others can do for themselves.

Go ahead! Do what’s best for you with unconditional love towards yourself–and it will spill over into the world around you!

~Mary Ann Pack

 

Relax, All is Well…Really!

right place-right time-doing right

Sitting on the front porch this morning watching the sunrise, I was going over in my mind all that I had to get done.  In October we moved from our tiny house to my farm.  We are freshening the colors in the core of the house, so painting has been a huge part of our lives over the last week or so.  My new grandbaby is due today!  Every year we put on a Gumbo Day for friends and family the Sunday between Christmas and New Year’s, besides keeping my clients’ work up-to-date.  And, today is December 18th, so you understand my dilemma.

I noticed that I was getting tense in my body and a little knot was developing in the pit of my stomach.  I was starting to feel overwhelmed with all that I needed to accomplish in the next few days.

But, I have been practicing listening to my Emotional Guidance System—my feelings—for several months and my response to stress and overwhelment is shifting.  When I get in a position of stress or feel I have more than I can do, or question if I’m doing the right things, I allow myself a moment to notice how I feel.  I take an assessment of my body and emotions.  If I notice tension anywhere or feel uncomfortable in any way, I know I’m not thinking the same thoughts that Source is thinking as we consider the same subject.

Every subject is really two subjects:  the wanting of a thing and the lack of the wanted thing.

Source never thinks in terms of lack.  So when we approach a subject with lack in our thoughts we are not aligned with what Source is thinking.  There is no lack of anything—whether things, resources, relationships, money, or time.  Source’s thoughts are always loving and knows that we are pure, positive light—an extension of Source Itself.  Source will never lower to our negative thought levels.  Source is always calling us up higher to expansion.  Source is always thinking of the unlimited positive aspects of…well, everything! 

When we get tension in our body, feel stressed out and overwhelmed, because we think we don’t have enough time to get everything done, we are thinking in contrast to what Source is thinking on the same subject.  This is the indicator of misalignment with who we really are.  When we are misaligned with our Inner Being—the who-we-really-are part of us, the eternal part of us—we experience negative emotions and can feel really bad.  Those bad feelings are just an indicator that we need to change our perspective and reach for better-feeling thoughts about the subject under consideration so we match what Source is thinking about us.

I was in resistance to the Stream of Life and paddling my canoe upstream as hard as I could!  My efforts were exhausting.

So, this morning as I noticed I was misaligned with who I really am, I reached for a better-feeling thought.  The very first thought that came to mind as my intention was to get to a better-feeling place was from my mentor, Abraham-Hicks, “I’m in the right place, at the right time, doing the right things and I’m loving my exposure to this life and what it provides for me!” 

I simply relaxed!  The stressful feelings washed away in the beauty of those words.  I immediately was back in alignment with the greater part of who I am.  I was aligned with the thoughts of Source and all tension and bad feelings shifted to calm and peace of mind.  My body melted into my rocker.

I was so appreciative of the shift that happened in mere seconds!

It didn’t take me all day to let what I had to do fester and make me feel bad, until I couldn’t stand it anymore and finally decided to stop and change my perspective.  I nipped it in the bud—so to speak!

Feeling good has become my top priority!  Obviously, we didn’t come into this physical life with the intension of seeking out every miserable thing we could experience and squander the Life-Force within us.  We came into this time-space reality with the intension of expanding who we are and create a life of joy and appreciation.  Those emotions feel really good, so that’s what I want to experience.

When I was experiencing those bodily responses because of my negative feelings, I knew I didn’t want to stay there.  It just doesn’t feel good!  Making feeling-good my top priority has taken work on my part.  It takes some time to overlay a new positive perspective when I’ve practiced negative thought patterns for so long.  But, with determination and focus and becoming aware of how I’m feeling throughout the day, I can recognize when it’s time to reach for better-feeling thoughts—to redirect from the negative to the positive—to allow myself alignment from my misalignment with Source.

We will never have all the answers, because there are too many subjects to consider in the Universe.  We will never get it done and can never get it wrong!  We are eternal beings—we cannot get IT done.  There really is nothing to get done.  There is no course that cannot be redirected simply with a change of perspective.  By looking for positive aspects of each subject we consider, we get closer and closer to everything we want.

This is a vibrational universe.  Everything is energy and energy is in constant motion emitting vibrational frequencies.  Our work is to align vibrationally with our desires.  The universe feels our vibrations and simply matches those with the essence of the same vibrations.  If you feel good, the universe will send a matching essence of more reasons to feel good.  The converse is also true.  If you feel bad, the universe will send a matching essence of more reasons to feel bad.

Our job is to relax with good-feeling thoughts and let go of our need for control.  We must allow the release of resistance of paddling upstream.  What we want is not upstream—it’s all downstream!  Our natural state of being is to float downstream, allowing the Stream of Life current to carry us towards everything we want!

Life is not a battle.  Life is not a struggle.  Life is ONLY a battle and struggle when we throw all kinds of actions at what we want.  No amount of action will compensate for not addressing our vibrational work of alignment with Source.  If we don’t take the time to learn how to use our mental focus to reach for better-feeling thoughts, we will continue to struggle against the current.  We’ll feel bad and we will live with struggle.

Our job is to do the vibrational work FIRST!  Forget the actions.  Inspired ideas to act will come AFTER we’ve aligned with our Inner Being of Source.  Once we get an inspired idea to take action, the action will help build momentum and speed up what we want coming to us.  If we continue to throw action after action at something we want, ignoring our vibrational feelings, we will simply keep pushing away the very thing we desire.  Pushing against, forcing action, noticing the lack of what we want all create resistance and more lack will show up.

So, relax!  Take a breath and repeat the affirmation.  “I’m in the right place, at the right time, doing the right things and I’m loving my exposure to this life and what it provides for me!”

Know that Source has your back.  Know that Source is waiting to give you everything you desire when you come into alignment with who you really are—an unlimited, eternal being of pure, positive light.  There is no lack.  You have all the time you need.  There’s nothing really serious going on here.

We’re here for a great ride of joy, appreciation and expansion!

When you notice you are feeling tension and overwhelmed, take a moment to calm yourself.  Reach for better-feeling thoughts that bring you relief.  Soothe yourself with positive aspects of whatever you are considering.  Better-feeling thoughts bring relief and rest assured that you are shifting your point of attraction.  Now you are heading in the direction of everything you desire by letting go of the oars and allowing yourself to float downstream in the Stream of Life!

All is Well!

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Mary Ann Pack, YOUR Life & Wellness Coach

If you enjoyed this article, please share it, comment and like it.  Thanks in advance!

PS  If you would like to feel better, emotionally and physically, please contact me for a complimentary consultation.  Email me at maryannpackcoaching@gmail.com.  I will help you remember your natural state of Well-Being!

PPS  By the time you read this post all this will be history.  But, there was a lesson of expansion in my experience that I wanted to share with you.  I’ll let you know how everything turned out!

UPDATE:  It’s New Year’s Eve and the grandbaby graced us with her presence at 5:17 p.m. on the 18th, weighing in at 7 pounds 10 ounces and 20 inches long–her name is Lilly Ann!  She is wonderful!  Our painting got finished and our home looks so pretty and inviting.  Gumbo Day was a success even though our guests arrived through thunderstorms!  So much fun and excitement!!

Belief Transformation: From Show to Grow!

I have been a student of the Bible since childhood.  As a matter of fact, I have a degree in Biblical studies from a Bible college associated with the denomination in which I was raised.  As I home educated my two sons, while they studied, I studied with my concordances, resource books and my Bible spread out all over the dining room table for hours.  I have continued to study on a daily basis.

I have always loved to study things that I believe will make me a better person.  I’m not much on reading novels, so reading personal development, wellness, and spiritual books are my passion.

For years when I studied the Bible it was to find supporting scriptures for topics I was interested in proving–whether for myself or to show others.  I had such a narrow approach to spirituality and religion that I had to prove how right I was for believing what I believed.  It’s quite exhausting, but exhilarating at the same time.  That rush of adrenaline when you find just the right nugget to prove your point–to show somebody that you are right and they are wrong.

Looking back on that attitude, now, makes me a bit queasy.   I was never really happy because it came from such a small heart.  It was from wanting to control what others thought and set them straight.

Plain and simple, I was raised to believe our way was the only way.  We, our denomination, had The Truth.  That there was only one way and we knew it.  Heaven forbid you should open your mind or entertain thoughts from a different perspective or belief system!

Even though I was raised in a very strict Christian home, I still couldn’t seem to be compliant to the dogmatic rules to follow the path exactly right.  I was always getting into trouble at home, because I couldn’t fit my freedom-loving butterfly wings into the box in which they wanted me–even required me–to live.

When I was little I loved things relating to Native Americans, to mythology, to astrology.  Those things interested me because those subjects were so different from how I was raised.  Now I can see that this was just my Inner Being guiding me to my unique path, but this was quite disturbing for my dear mother.  She tried her hardest to squelch my interest in other cultures or subjects that might turn me away from the church’s Christian belief system.

Later, I remember thinking, if it only took just reading about other cultures or belief systems to turn me away from my Christian rearing, Christianity must not be that interesting or important to me.  If it is that easy to turn aside from your religious beliefs, maybe they are not really your beliefs, but the beliefs of those who imposed them upon you.  Maybe your path is a little–or a lot–different from theirs.

After hearing a visiting minister speak about the meaning behind some of the New Testament scriptures because he studied Hebrew and Aramaic, I remember telling my mother as a child, that we really didn’t really know the Bible and what it meant because we were not Jews and did not speak or understand Hebrew.  My reasoning as a child was that they got it first from God and how were we to know what things really meant if we didn’t get it directly from the horse’s mouth, so to speak.  So that made me interested in learning about Judaism.

With all that talk about tainting my Christianity with secular studies I decided that I wouldn’t come out a Christian if I went to a secular university, so I decided I would attend Bible college about four hours from home.  The year I had to take biology I decided to take it at our community college back home, because I really didn’t think a Bible college professor would teach it right.  I loved science so much that I wanted a science-oriented school to teach me for that course.  Growing up I always said I wanted to be an archaeologist or a mad scientist!  But that would mean studying at one of those atheistic universities and that was out of the question for my higher education.

Attending that class with that particular professor did challenge my beliefs.  I was exposed to new ideas, but that just made me more determined to prove them wrong and my beliefs right.

After college is when I really started to enjoy studying.  I could study what I wanted regarding the Bible and learned how to study well.  I always had a thirst for knowledge, but never liked someone directing my studies.  This new freedom was enjoyable.

Yet, I always struggled to find real, lasting peace in my heart.  The church was such an emotional roller-coaster.  I grew up with such extreme emotions in the services, that if you weren’t crying in anguish for your sins and repent, it just wasn’t a good service.  If the service didn’t run over the dismissal time by an hour or two, it was just a s0-so service.  Very extreme.  I was always made to feel that I was just on the precipice of eternal damnation.  There was so much guilt and fear heaped upon me that I just could never maintain the feeling that God loved me–unconditionally–like I’d read in the Bible.

I was also raised to believe that the wife was supposed to be submissive to the husband.  I tried–I really did–but I just couldn’t make that work for me consistently.  I had moments of happiness and peace, but it just never lasted.  All this submissive teaching just left me knowing it was not safe for me to speak my truth or ask for my needs to be met.  I truly believe this is why I suffered Grave’s disease after my second son.  We are vibrational beings and I believe not feeling safe to speak up for myself or communicate my desires created energy imbalance in my throat area.

Even as a kid growing up, I had stomach problems.  My stomach was always in a knot, because I was always getting into trouble.  I was never doing it right.  I was already starting with throat problems and by age 15 I had to have my tonsils taken out.  Migraines started in high school.  After college I developed a lump in my thyroid that had to be removed.  After I married, I suffered a miscarriage before each of my two sons.  After my second son I had to have emergency gall-bladder surgery and then developed the Grave’s disease.  Later, a hysterectomy after another miscarriage.  Blah-blah-blah!

I only mention this because I know, now, that all my physical imbalance and dis-ease was caused by how bad I felt in my spirit trying so hard to be a good Christian–because it was totally against who I really am.  I was in such resistance to who my Inner Being knew me to be and was calling me to be, that I created imbalance in my body that showed up as dis-eases.

I am so thankful that in the past several years I have gained the peace and joy I was searching for.  Leaving the church and searching for my own path was the best thing I ever did.  Sure I still had a long journey ahead of me, but now it was bringing peace.  I was no longer fighting against the guilt and shame of Christian dogma.  Now, when I study it is anything and everything that piques my interest.

When I was in my mid-thirties, I’d had enough of the migraines and dis-ease, so I went to a health food store and told the owner to fix me.  That was the most inspired and rewarding thing I think I’ve ever done for me.  It put me on a path of wellness and discovery.  It opened my mind to herbal healing, energy healing, astrology, paganism, Judaism, Eastern religions, meditation, crystals and stones, and all sorts of wonderfully enjoyable study material!

I was still in the church as I began to look around at different thoughts and belief systems for about another 10 years.  But I was able to find some comfort from other ideas that there are more peaceful ways to fulfill the empty feeling inside.  That nagging pain of an distraught spirit.

It is such a joy to remember who I really am!  I am the pure, positive extension of Source Energy.  I am wonderfully made, because I made me!  My non-physical Self focused enough attention upon this physical world that I created my body and how I would expand my continued  Being.  When I’m done with this life and I return my focus back to non-physical, I will transition back into the wholeness of All Source Energy–of All That Is.  Only a part of me is physically focused right now, as the majority of my non-physical is still non-physically focused.  I’m just here to expand my whole BEing.  That’s how creation works in eternity.  Ever expanding and ever broadening–eternally.  The larger, wiser, older part of me is still non-physical–and I have access to all that Infinite Intelligence any time, all the time.

Rather than gathering knowledge to prove my point and show others how they are wrong and how I am right, now I’m gathering knowledge to grow and expand who I AM.  It’s a much larger heart-place and so much more enjoyable.  It’s none of my business what other people have decided to believe.  It’s also none of my business what their opinion is of my path.  My only business is growing myself and loving life and being at peace and harmony with Source Energy.  My alignment with Source Energy and my harmony with the Inner Me is all that I need to focus upon.  Feeling good is my purpose and I’m actually accomplishing it!

When I started this blog post I was heading in a certain direction.  I was going to talk about why I believe what I do about the Bible.  I was going to tell you why I don’t believe it is the inerrant word of God.  But my Inner Being apparently had other plans, so I will write the Bible blog another day.  I think this enough for the moment and I’ll talk to you soon!

I love you all!  Please know that you are in my thoughts–which are–that you remember who you really are and know you are pure, positive, unconditional love!

All is well!

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Mary Ann Pack, YOUR Life & Wellness Coach

Email:  maryannpackcoaching@gmail.com

PS:  I know many of you have had similar experiences being raised with a belief system that was not your own.  I would love for you to share your story with us either in the comments below or email me privately.  We are each on our own path and it’s so much fun as we allow it to unfold before us!

If you would like help with life, spiritual or wellness issues, I’d be happy to help you feel better–because that’s exactly what we’re here for–to feel good!!