Wisdom Whispers

Remember the 99 and Set Boundaries

“You can do 99 things for some people and all they will remember is the one thing you didn’t do.” ~PowerOfPositivity

People. Pleasing. Does. Not. Work!

It is not sustainable. People-pleasing was never meant to be a sustainable relationship. It will wear you out and make you resentful and very unhappy. And, in the end, it will never really please the other person in the way they want to be pleased.

We are all here, physically, to experience a great relationship with Ourselves, Non-physically (spiritually, eternally). When that relationship is not at its best, we look outside ourselves to shore up the feeling of the alignment we are seeking within Ourselves. But, that outside-seeking is never going to satisfy our need for alignment within, so it will never please us and make us happy enough to live a joy-filled life. We will always feel dependent upon others to do the job we intended to perform to gain our personal alignment with who we really are.

Please stop trying to  please others at the risk of emotional, mental and physical exhaustion on your part! It is futile.

None of us came to this physical life with the purpose to please others and make sure they were happy. We came to this life with the purpose of living joyful, creative lives. Never dependent on anyone else for our happiness or our alignment.

That means…each of us! That doesn’t mean some of us came to be pleased and some of us came to be pleasers! We each came here knowing that it was solely our job to be happy–without anyone else’s help–or demanding anything from anyone. No control. No demands.

How do I know this?

I know this because of how it makes me feel when I succumb to people-pleasing tactics. I feel like sh*t! When I get stuck doing something for someone that I never wanted to do in the first place, but did it anyway out of responsibility or obligation. You know the feeling–you start to get tense, maybe your stomach churns or get a lump in your throat. You start to resent having to do something, again, for this one who always seems to be so good at needing emergency help, or in-a-bind-favors. Over and over again. It gets very exhausting!

Besides your mental and emotional stress, all that tension and resentment is taking a toll on your physical body. Your body is very sensitive to the vibrational frequencies you are emitting through your thoughts and emotions. If your emotions are out of whack–imagine what your poor body is going through??? Pretty soon, you’ll have a reason not to extend any more favors, because your body will create an illness, pain or disease that will prevent you anyway.

I’m NOT saying you can never do something for someone else. Not at all! If you can do something for another person and you can stay aligned and happy in the doing of it–then by all means–follow your heart!! It can be an amazing delight to be a help to another person!

I’m talking about the repetitive cries for help that never seem to end. Sometimes they tend to get bigger and more time-consuming. You’d like to tell them to get their sh*t together and get a life. They are not the center of your world–you are!

If we feel taken advantage of, it time we must learn to set boundaries. Takers tend to step and stomp all over their helper’s lives. Taking no notice of the inconvenience and expense they may cause another. So, setting boundary lines is the only way to stop the abuse.

Setting boundaries is our opportunity to think different thoughts. Obviously, we have attracted the time and energy vampires by our previous vibrational thought patterns and beliefs. We invited people to demand our time and energy by thinking thoughts of our not enough-ness. Beliefs that we must serve others before our own needs and desires. That being selfish with my time and resources is wrong. That it is better to give than receive! Thinking, if I can just change my behavior enough to please him/her, then I will be appreciated and accepted. Bullpucky!!

You can’t keep serving from an empty pitcher. Self-care is necessary and life-sustaining. Time and resources are solely ours to keep or share at our bidding. Giving and receiving are two sides of the exact same coin–they are equal! We can never change our behavior enough to please anyone for any length of time–because they are always changing what they want us to be, according to their whim of the day.

When someone is truly in need and we can feel good while we are performing the favor, then by all means, do it! Delight in serving another. But, never, ever perform a favor for someone if you are doing it out of dread, fear, obligation, guilt, resentment–you get the picture. This attitude will not truly help them or yourself. Only perform favors when you are happy and truly glad to help out. Our alignment with who we really are is the guiding inspiration regarding any action to be performed. If it feels good–do it!

On the other side of this, we may need to question if we are the person who is not appreciating the favors of time and energy someone have given us. Are we the one who constantly demands favors from others? Are we the one who is not appreciating the 99 things people do for us and only remembering that one thing they didn’t do? Are we holding a grudge for that one little thing left undone?

If we are a time and energy vampire, it’s time to focus upon our own alignment with our inner being and let go of the need to control others’ behavior to make us feel better. Feeling better is truly what we are looking for–which only comes through our alignment with our Inner Source. Maybe it’s time to take up our own job of alignment with our inner being and begin thinking in new ways that help us feel better and better. Maybe it’s time to change some beliefs–that others owe us, that we are the center of everyone’s universe, that we are the victim and we can’t help that everyone’s out to get us, that we simply cannot help ourselves.

Look for things to appreciate. If someone is doing something for us, tell them how much we appreciate all their help. Make lists of things we appreciate about our life and the part others play in our experience. Look for positive aspects of all that comes our way.

The more we make the effort to live a life of appreciation, the more the universe feels this new shift in vibration and will bring us more things to appreciate! Remember and make a list of all the 99 things done for us. As we focus appreciation for the 99 things, we’ll not even remember the one that didn’t get done. It won’t even matter!

All is Well!!

MAP 12-2015 rev

~ Mary Ann Pack

YOUR Life & Wellness Coach




Wisdom Whispers

Do What’s Best for You

“And now I’ll do what’s best for me.” ~Unknown
Do you realize it’s really okay for you to do what’s best for you?
As a matter of fact, it’s not only the best thing you can do for yourself–it’s the best thing you can do for the entire world!

If we are not doing things that are for our highest good and best for ourselves, we cannot offer that empowerment to others to find what’s best for themselves.

You will absolutely know what’s best for you by how you feel.

When you are feeling good with your thoughts and actions, you are thinking and doing things that are best for you. Feeling good is your place of true alignment with who you really are–alignment with your Source within.
When you do what’s best for you and it gives you peace of mind, you hold the vibrational space for others to find the same vibrational peace and alignment in their lives. Remember, we really are One. What we do for ourselves, affects what others can do for themselves.

Go ahead! Do what’s best for you with unconditional love towards yourself–and it will spill over into the world around you!

~Mary Ann Pack


A New Thought

Now Matters!

“Now is the only thing that matters, because everything you experience is now.” ~Mary Ann Pack

For a long time, I struggled with understanding about the concept of being in the now.  I would listen and read the life transformational gurus like Eckhart Tolle, Bob Proctor, and Abraham-Hicks saying that everything you experience in is the now and that we are to focus on the now—the present, but I kept getting confused.

I thought I was being present in the now, but this concept just didn’t resonate with me.

Then I was listening to an Abraham-Hicks video and their explanation started making sense.  It was the a-ha moment I was looking for.  Abraham explained it so simply.  So, here goes….

No matter what we are thinking about—whether it’s from the past, present or future—is happening in the now.  Prior to this I believed, if I’m thinking about the past, I’m just thinking about the past and it really has nothing to do with my now, my present circumstances.  If I was thinking about something I projected into the future—a future desire or event—I was simply thinking about future events that really didn’t affect my present situation.

I finally understood what the now really is.  No matter what I’m thinking about it’s all happening now!  (*duh! Lightbulb!) I know this may be kids-play for you, but this was my a-ha moment.  Even if I’m thinking about something that happened in the past—I’m living it now through my thought energy.  I’m activating it in my now by the attention and energy I’m giving to it.  If I’m projecting thoughts about future desired events—I’m living it now through my vibration of thought!

Einstein said everything is energy.  So, of course, our thoughts are energy.  Thoughts are vibrating, living things—nowEvery thought affects us now because they are happening…well, now!

Every time we think a thought—no matter the subject or time sequence—we are activating it right now.  There really is no past or future—there is only now!

To understand that there is really no past or future is a little hard to grasp when our lives are so structured around linear time.  Yet, there is no past or future in the eternal.  There is only now.  Since we are eternal beings, we are certainly tied to the concept of no time—we just don’t think about it much.

Knowing what I’ve learned about vibration and frequency, I understand that everything is energy so everything is vibrating.  I know that our thoughts are energy and are affecting us moment by moment.  I know that our dominant thoughts attract our life experiences in this world governed by the universal law of attraction.  So, I was finally able to grasp that everything I do or think is solely happening now.

If I dredge up something unpleasant from the past, I’m putting it into my now.  Yuck!  Because I understand that our thoughts activate attraction of more of the same essence—I really don’t want more of that in the life I want to create!

If I start worrying about something bad happening in the future—the negative what-if’s—I’m including that into my now which is creating my life.  Double yuck!!

The universe is not governed by the concept of time, nor does it understand that what you are thinking and feeling has already happened in the past or is happening now or has not happened yet.  In other words, the universe simply matches the vibrational frequencies we are emitting by our thoughts and feelings.  It doesn’t know if it’s real or not.

If we are emitting a strong, consistent good-feeling vibration, the universe matches it with the same essence.  If we are emitting a strong, consistent bad-feeling vibration, the universe matches that.  The universe doesn’t know if what we are thinking about has happened or has not happened.  The universe simply  feels the dominant, consistent vibration and matches what it feels from us through our thoughts.

Abraham says that the universe doesn’t understand words, it understands what we mean.  I take that as the universe solely focuses on our feelings, our vibrations.  If you were to say, “I don’t want to be fat anymore.  I want to lose weight,” the universe would understand your feelings about the subject of the sentences.  The subject in these two sentences that you have strong feelings about is “fat” and “weight”.  So, to me, the universe is feeling “fat” and “weight” and gives you more of that vibration.

From my understanding, I would think it far better to say, “I am thankful for my body and it knows exactly what to do to be healthy and thin.”  Now, the universe is understanding the meaning of “body” and “healthy and thin” and is responding with more of that vibrational match.

So…the moral to this story is to think about things now that we want to include in the life we are designing.  A life we love living.  A life that brings meaning and joy and appreciation.

No matter what we are focusing on, it is activating a vibration in us now.  Our now produces our life experiences.  The point is that we can create our life on purpose or by design when we diligently direct our thoughts and energy towards things that are pleasing or on the desires we would like to experience.

Let go of anything in your past that makes you feel bad.  If you keep holding on to past experiences in your now, you activate its vibrational attraction into the life you’re creating.  If you want less of it, stop thinking about it, stop talking about it to others, stop posting about it on your social media.  The less energy of thought you give to something unwanted, it slowly, but surly, fades and loses power.

You can never worry yourself to a better life either!  If you’re playing the what-if game from a negative standpoint, you are attracting the essence of all that crap right into your life.  The universe is only matching your vibration, yet you will come to believe the proof that you are being shown.  That life really does suck!

Yet, you could turn it around and play the what-if game from a positive perspective and you would be shown proof that life is wonderful!  The universe is simply answering your call to whatever your dominant thoughts project vibrationally.

In the end, you are solely responsible for the outcome you experience in your life by what you are activating in your now.  If you are mindful of your feelings, you can monitor your thoughts more easily.  When you notice that you are feeling crappy, it’s time to pay attention to what your thoughts have been and simply choose better-feeling thoughts.  Bringing all those great vibrations into your now!

If you enjoyed this post please share, like and comment.  Thanks in advance!

All is Well!!

MAP 12-2015 rev

Mary Ann Pack

YOUR Life & Wellness Coach

“What should I do now?”

There is no better time than now for you to contact me for a complimentary discovery session!  Let’s talk and find out if we would be a great coaching match.  It’s time for you to invest in your life right now.  Email me at maryannpackcoaching@gmail.com or call me directly at (903)227-0273.  Don’t put it off any longer, do it now!